


I’ve needed you back for so long

by Threadbear



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-14
Updated: 2013-06-14
Packaged: 2017-12-14 23:13:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/842498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Threadbear/pseuds/Threadbear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snape and Sirius meet again, its been awhile. Severus has self control issues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’ve needed you back for so long

The bar is dark, obscure, well hidden and by virtue of it being a muggle bar he is completely anonymous. Typical, thinks Severus Snape, that someone would then have to come and fuck it all up. “Shit” he says, by way of a greeting – it’s fucking unexpected but that’s not the half of it. If Black is surprised to see him here he doesn’t show it, just looks at him, doesn’t say a word. Snape can’t think of anything to say either so they end up standing there staring at each other for awhile until finally Sirius says, “Christ, we may as well have a drink then, hmm?” Its not until he’s following Sirius to a table in the corner that it occurs to him the smart thing to do would have been to bolt on sight. Stupid old fool he thinks. Sirius looks older, there’s deep circles under his eyes and Snape thinks he’s probably still drinking too much. Yet…and yet he can’t stop staring at that stupid too tight t-shirt he’s wearing – Goddamn, he really should know better by now.

Sirius – “It’s been too long.”  
“I know.”  
Pause. “I’m sorry.”  
“I don’t care.”  
Sirius takes a deep drag of his cigarette and does a fairly decent impression of a man trying to appear casual – his cigarette shakes only a little. “God…I…I cant even tell you…I fucking missed you.” Snape doesn’t say I told you you would you stupid fuck and fuck you anyway. Instead he reaches out and grabs Blacks right hand, the one holding the cigarette, puts the cigarette to his lips and inhales. His lips brush Sirius’s fingers but just barely. He releases the hand, exhaling as he does. “It doesn’t matter, none of it matters” Snape says. He gets up. “I need another drink.” He feels jittery and unsettled and he’s willing himself to get his shit together as he walks away. He’ll have a drink at the bar then go back and pretend like he’s the one in control.

When he gets back he bangs down a full bottle of scotch and two glasses. Benefits of being wizard in a muggle bar, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Snape had a mind to sip slowly, try to keep some modicum of control, but Sirius looks so good sitting there all long legs and dirty jeans, that he knocks back one then pours another, knocks that back too. Sirius says “good to see you’ve learnt how to drink you fucking poof.” Snape curls his mouth up at the edges, a not quite smile he knows makes him look ugly but he also knows makes him look intimidating “I love it when you talk dirty Black.”  
“You’re still one sick fuck Snape. And I know you do.”  
…

A few drinks later and Sirius asks him if he’s seeing anyone, casual, like he’s talking to one of his fucking mates. That pisses Snape off so much that he answers that he’s not seeing anyone in particular “you know how it is Black,” plasters what he hopes is a suggestive smirk on his face.  
“Oh yeah like that huh?” Sirius looks more bored than anything, which pisses Snape off even more. “Yeah,” Snape keeps going, he doesn’t seem to be able to stop himself, “some people get off on that war hero shit I guess.” He doesn’t care, doesn’t really listen to what’s coming out of his mouth, he’s just trying to keep himself from screaming what the fuck! Did you expect me to wait for you!? I fucking hate you Sirius Black you fucked up child! Except he would mean I love you and he would have waited, pretty much did after all, would do it again if he asked. “Jesus Snape” Sirius says. And something about the look on his face makes Snape get up and say “fuck this lets go.” Sirius doesn’t ask where. 

They’re in the middle of some kind of abandoned industrial area, there’s nothing around so they end up just walking aimlessly. Snape waits till they’ve walked a whole block before he slams Sirius up against a wall and pins him with his body. Sirius hits the wall hard and Snape knows it would have hurt, he meant it to. And God he wants to hurt him, he wants to so bad but all he can say is “two years…you fuck” and his voice comes out choked. But then Sirius leans in and he’s kissing him, hungry and desperate, almost frantic and Sirius is kissing him back just the same and Snape’s hands come up to grab Sirius’s head and he can’t get close enough and their teeth keep clashing together. And he thinks this is what home is feels like, the taste of stale whiskey and the rasp of three-day growth against his mouth. When they finally pull apart, they’re both breathing hard, and Sirius is saying fuck me Severus I want you fuck me baby and he sounds so sweet and so filthy and it fucking kills him. Now he’s unable to think clearly at all, his thoughts fracture, his mind feels unhinged. It’s all very familiar. He apparates them both wordlessly to the doorstep of his flat. 

Snape’s place is a run-down terrace flat in a miserable neighbourhood but it’s cheap and it gets him out of Hogwarts a few times a month. His hands are shaking when he tries to open the door and it takes him a couple of tries. Giving my game away, he thinks, would have never let that happen in the old days. He wonders if that means he’s becoming human and laughs out loud at the thought. To Blacks credit, he doesn’t show that he hears, just follows him in and says “nice place.”  
Snape says “shut the fuck up Black as if you give a shit.” And at that Sirius looks at him and grins, a real full-on grin that lights up his face.  
“Severus Snape. “ He says. “Damn its good to see you.”  
…

Snape fucks him on the kitchen floor partly because he knows Sirius wants it dirty like that and partly because that’s how far they make it before they start pulling each other’s clothes off. Black’s as marked and scarred as himself but goddamn if he doesn’t look even better than he remembered. God, how had he forgotten how goddamn good he looked? He pushes Sirius onto his back, straddling him, goes straight for the tattoo on his chest, runs his tongue over it as he grinds into Black’s cock. He hears Black laugh – “oh shit who would have thought you had a kink for boys with tatts, I almost forgot, you dirty fucking perve.”  
“Shut up Black” he mumbles but doesn’t stop what he’s doing. Suddenly Sirius grabs him roughly and pulls Snape level with his face “fucking make me” his voice is rough and low and his eyes are glinty, dangerous. And of course he’s fucking hard for that shit, and Sirius of course knows it, has in the past used it to torture him. He sits up, pours out some of the shitty cooking oil he had left out on the kitchen bench earlier. The oil runs off his cock and dribbles over Sirius and the floor, he throws the bottle away where it spills, oil pooling on the linoleum, then enters him quickly, roughly. Sirius cries out in pain, but even as he does he grabs Snape and pulls him in, bucks his hips up, “c’mon, c’mon,” he’s breathless, urgent. The sound of Black’s voice goes straight to his cock and when he starts fucking him he’s hard and relentless. From somewhere he can hear himself grunting and panting harshly and Sirius is moaning loudly saying fuck fuck fuck but he’s not even thinking of making it good for him, just needs to taste feel fuck as much of him as possible. Sirius has hold of his hand and is licking and biting his palm so Snape decides to slide his hand down and close it around Sirius’ neck, not too hard, and dig his fingers into Sirius’ jaw. Sirius pants – “I’m gunna kill those fuckers you been fucking Sev, you know that?”  
He says “There’s no one else baby just you just you.” He’s breathing hard and the words come out coarse and disjointed.  
Sirius says “yeah? You wait for me baby?”  
And Snape says “yeah always baby, like always.” 

When he comes it’s with his tongue in Sirius’ mouth – the hand around the neck probably a little too tight now – and he comes hard, thinking “you’re mine mine mine.” 

It takes him a few moments to recover, but he remembers to ask Sirius “did you come?” Sirius pushes him off. “Jesus Christ you’re a fucking bastard Snape. And yes.” And, standing up, pulling on his jeans, he murmurs “I always fucking do,” low as if he’s talking to himself. But Snape doesn’t need to hear; if there’s one thing, he knows, that’s sure to get Sirius off it’s treating him like he’s worth nothing. And goddamn if that doesn’t make him fucking sad and tender all at the same time. “C’mere” he says grabbing Sirius and pulling him down until he’s straddling his lap, “don’t sulk,” he kisses the corner of his mouth, then along his jaw, “you know what you do to me” his voice low. Neither go to move so they stay like that keeping their faces close and talking real low saying nothing in particular and Sirius is touching, stoking him so soft and so so sweet telling him he missed him and missed getting fucked like that and does Snape still think of him when he jerks off? And Snape says no but Sirius says I know you’re lying. And Snape thinks this is the Sirius he’s missed the most, the one he tells himself no one else gets to see, his sweet, sexy, filthy boy.

Not too much later as he’s leaving Black asks if its going to happen again and Snape says baby that’s up to you isn’t it. Snape stays where he is on the floor, half lying, and half dressed, leaning his back against the kitchen cabinet. Sirius is walking away but Snape says “Black.” He stops but doesn’t turn around. “You’re still with him aren’t you.” Sirius turns but doesn’t say anything, and for the second time that night they face each other, saying nothing. Snape’s’ the first to look away, suddenly finding he doesn’t want to hear him say it and after a moment he hears the front door slam. Anyway, they both knew it wasn’t a question. He snags his trousers and rummages around in the pockets until he finds a cigarette. He smokes thinks about taking a shower and tries not to think about why they can’t keep away from each other and why he let Sirius do this to him again and why he will let him do it again and again and again and be thankful. He wonders if it will break him this time. But as he sits half naked and reeking of cum and cigarettes on his kitchen floor, Sirius reverberates in his head and thunders though his veins. He can’t wait to find out.


End file.
